i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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