from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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