I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
