Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
