its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
