FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
