drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
