Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
