Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
