eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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