I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
