I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
