the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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