My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
