yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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