Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
