is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
