Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
