My first STD was from a foam party
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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