i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
