her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
