I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
