you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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