before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
