all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
