It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
