dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
