How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize