you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
