its not stalking. its research.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
