So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
