I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
