She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
