Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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