I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Actions speak louder than pants.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
