Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
ok first of all what the fuck
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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