Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize