We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize