There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
