standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
