When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
