I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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