dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
