dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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