no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
