Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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