Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT

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(970): View more from Colorado

Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

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(330): View more from Ohio

so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

(216): View more from Ohio

i hate you

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(706): View more from Georgia

we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.

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(514): View more from Quebec

bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

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(+61): View more from Australia

can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You working tonight?

(856): View more from New Jersey

Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess

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(203): View more from Connecticut

drunk brunch me or lose me forever

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(585): View more from New York

She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.

(585): View more from New York

gtg, the cops are here

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