well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
