So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
