I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
