Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
