that's an acceptable place to lick
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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