saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
