apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize