So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize