'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
