don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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